I LOVE YOU!!!!
Oh i know i say this every week but I just LOVE getting to update you on everything. Its been a great and crazy week!
First off, at the beginning of this week i was EXHAUSTED! I don't know what was going on but I was just so tired all the time. it was the worst. Especially since you don't have time to nap. I think i will become a napper like you when I get home mom. OH they sound so nice. It was rough though - I have never struggled staying awake in studies but I had to go and get some gum so that I would be chewing something and not fall asleep. NOT GOOD! So that was crazy. But things are getting better which is so good! I always heard of missionaries just being so tired by the end of their missions. So we will see. Then lots of naps when I get home! :)
It was also one of those humbling weeks... I think it has been a good reminder for me and good learning experience for Sister Steed. We were SO blessed to meet Suman the first week here and then how we were lucky enough that he wasn't working nights so we would meet everyday and he progressed and didn't have really any problems all the way to baptism... (after baptism is now another story though that I'll get to... :( ) but it was just great. We had a great teaching pool and people progressing and then this week has been the opposite! We have really struggled with friends cancelling, people aren't wanting to come to church and keep their commitments, we haven't been able to really find like we have been in the past. Its just one of those GREAT weeks because you really how you need to be humble and trust in the Lord. I have actually been really grateful as it has made me really recognize gods hand in all the things but especially the little ones. Just recognizing the fact I had a great conversation with someone or we have a friend that hasn't cancelled or members that love us and are willing to come teach - little things that are really HUGE things. Huge blessings. So it has helped me be more humble and back to remembering him more which is always a blessing. But yeah. THey taught us a new finding technique that we are supposed to do of keeping street contact SUPER short - not even teaching just trying to get into their homes to teach where their families are. So we basically have the shortest conversations and get their addresses and a time - but its been a struggle because it has lead to a lot of return appointments with people that aren't super solid so they just fall through.. so lots of floggs and then having to go finding. Which is great but teaches you patience as well! We obviously just have to work on the contacting - sure there is a better way to do it but thats been this week!
AND saddest story ever. We got a text from Suman yesterday saying that he needed a 2 month break. A 2 MONTH BREAK? WHAT THE HECK? We were so confused. We called him after we got the text and he went on about how he just cant explain it but he is worried he can't live up to the expectations and this whole time he feels the church has changed him but he just needs a break and blah blah. We were so confused and just so sad. The worst was too is that he just kept saying how he felt so bad because he was letting US down. That made sirens go off in my head because none of this time should he have felt any pressure to do things just because of us. What if he just got baptized because he didn't want to let us down?? It is what he implied yesterday and its just so hard. That is the LAST thing and its made me question a little bit if we pushed it to quickly or should have slowed down with all of it or made sure his testimony was absolute. I don't know... he probably is just having a moment or something has happened but I just hope he is okay and really has a testimony. So that was a sad thing that happened yesterday. So yeah, see! Its been a humbling week! :)
But I have learned also some other fun fact this week about myself. The first is that Dad - Flip i have all of your pet peeves. Honestly I apologize now mom because me coming home you will have dad and me going off about the silliest things... :) But oh my goodness. I have just been laughing lately as all of the things that just drive me a little crazy are all of the things you have told us to stop. Like with the sleeping during studies problem I have been getting gum... which has meant sister steed has been getting gum and OH IT TAKES EVERYTHING IN ME TO NOT FREAK OUT when she is chewing it. OH it drives me crazy. Right now as we are emailing she is chewing on bran flakes and its just like the loud chewing too. AND when lights are left on it drives me crazy and I have to go turn them off because why would you waste that? Im constantly walking around the flat and turning the lights off. She has started to pick up though and apologizes. Im trying not to be that crazy companion but OH WELL! So yes... OH dad, its a problem. But i love it at the same time because I just think of you and how it would drive mom crazy and then i just laugh so its great! But yeah. We are the same. Working on patience! :) BUT i have also learned that I LOVE eating healthly!
So sorry... im going to vent for a minute. Hopefully all these random thoughts and things are okay... i feel like you would like to know them too! :) And its just more real. The work is so great and I love it but I have other random things that i need to vent about too! ) ANYWAYS, story time. With eating healthy I feel like i have always been good about it but especially on my mission - after like Decemeber of this last year I really have tried to be really good. I started eating really well and just LOVE fruits and veggies. It actually came Im pretty sure because Heavenly Father was tired of hearing me complain that I didn't feel healthy so he just made me love the healthy foods! :) BUT yeah. Ive ate really well. Im even known by my companions as the sister that eats really healthy... They are probably all really annoyed at me. BUT when I came back to Peckham so many people were just saying how I had lost so much weight. I weighed myself and if the scale is right I have actually lost about 10 pounds since I left home last year - BINGO! BUT the problem is that I am back in Peckham where all i get is fufu and rice and fried plantains... AKA NOT HEALTHY! Its been kinda funny for me to see how much I do love eating well - yesterday we had a DA and ate out for lunch and by the end of the day i just felt nasty and gross and didn't have energy or just feel right. So this is the longest story to say that I just have realized how much I do love eating right, and cooking really unhealthy things :), but eating well! And so with that I think I might go with trying nurition when I go back. I have just been struggling on knowing what to study and wanting a good career just incase I would need to support my family - which is a little hard with nutrition i feel... so still not sure - but I was thinking about your comments on Elder Holland's talk mom about wrong roads and right now that is the only thing that is really sticking out to me - and if anything it is just somewhere to start! I can go for that but I know that is if it isn't right that the lord will direct me somewhere else! So there ya go, sorry for that essay about it all but I just really enjoy it and love learning about it so I think i'll try and take some of those classes going back and see if it is what is right! Jess - my good friend from freshman year, the one from North Carolina if you remember her... is going into it as well! So i will email her today and see what classes she took and what/who she would recommend. We are planning on taking some time today for me to look up classes and try to make a little bit of a plan. When can I register again? So hopefully I can get it all put together to where you would just have to push add on the day I can register! But mom if you would look up some of the recreation classes I would love that! I have to take some for credits and would love to try and stay in shape while I am there... so there are classes like Zumba or volleyball or something like that... if you get the chance see if there are any fun classes available! And I'm not sure what I have to do to apply to the program... so yeah. I know you are so busy but if you have any time that you would just like to look up the program/options I would love it! Ah i love you mom! Thanks so much for you help!
another fun fact is that I had to go get my ears cleaned again yesterday! I had to go do it in like March and then again already! Isn't that crazy? Too soon. but it made me SO grateful that I am serving in a country where it is so easy to go get it done. I can picture myself in like Africa or South America where the doctor is years away and not know how to handle my crazy ears. So I'm really really grateful I can serve a mission and hear at the same time! :)
Another thing I was thinking - as you probably have already been thinking of... ;) But in like less than 20 days I TURN 21!!! AHH isn't that just mad? that sounds SO OLD to me. How the heck am I that old. I don't feel it at all. Another crazy thing is that I turned 20 out on a mission - HERE IN PECKHAM too! It's so weird because that means my whole 20 year old life I haven't seen those I am closest too. Its crazy to me. LET'S NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN. okay? WIlling to sacrifice it for the lord but thats it. Looking forward to lots and lots of years and birthdays where I get to celebrate with you! BUT the point of all of this is PLEASE with birthday coming up and christmas - I would love you to save the money for just when I get home. Don't feel like you have to send anything over. I LOVE love love love gifts and packages from home but I realize how expensive they are and when I get to see you so soon I would say just save the money and then we will PARTY in January! Mom, i would still love the surprise that was meant to be delivered ages ago. I have been so excited! But really please save your money and we will just celebrate beginning of January! Especially with Christmas. It's so expensive to send stuff over and I will see you like 2 weeks after. So yes! Just my thoughts on all of that! :)
And dad! i would love to be able to work in the pharmacy when I get home! I would love to work for Louana again as well. I don't have her email address though... would you be able to get that for me and then I can email her? Or anywhere in the other stores would be great as well! i would love to be able to work as a tech though and think it would bring in great money for school! I am hoping with the schedule to to keep days open so I could work the long hours a lot of pharmacies require. So yes! If you have emails I would love to start getting on that and having something set for when I get home!
With that too! Thank you so much for your advice on staying focused and being here but being excited about home. I want to make it very clear though I LOVE being here in England and being a missionary. it truly is the best and I am forever grateful for the experiences that have lead me to be here and the things i have learned but I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HOME WITH ALL OF YOU AGAIN!!!! Oh the thought of just getting to be at home and be with you all the time and call you and text you and watch movies and eat peaches and just BE WITH YOU and Tyse and Linds and Ky when he gets home just makes me feel giddy. I just cant wait. And that is what Has been hard. Is I love my mission but I am really excited for getting to be at home with all of you and then especially getting to apply what I have learned here at home. I just have so many ideas of how I want to be better and how I will help missionary work back home and just be a better member and daughter and friend and OH its going to be AWESOME!! But with that I can think about it and then get really excited but I still have 4 months here. Which I know isn't long but at the same time seems like forever still. OH so it is so hard but I think i need more of your help and advice on staying focused. Like i will be a mess having to leave but just because i have grown to love this - I love England. And I love the people and all of the culture and the weird food and awful weather BUT mostly I love it because on these sacred grounds is where I have come to know my Savior. I have struggled more than EVER before in my life. I have hurt and felt pain and felt confused and worried but I have come to see that NO MATTER WHAT he can fix it and he can help. I love England because I have come to know the Savior here. That his atonement and sacrifice was real and it was for me. He is MY Savior. And so I know that this place will always have the most special place in my heart and having to leave will be different and hard but I am just so excited to see you. But yes. I just want to finish strong. I feel good about my mission so far - just content. I could have done SO many things better and improved but I have worked and done my best and I just don't want any of that to change in these next four months. But it can seem long and I still do miss you and I can be tired. OH the struggles... So yes! please any advice of staying focused and working hard would be wonderful! I just want to finish strong! SO STRONG! There are miracles to be seen and so much time to do it!
I hope everything is going well and that everyone is happy and healthy. I pray for you EVERYDAY! Im super excited to hear about Tyse's school as well! Let me know! AND OH how i miss watching football with you dad! Just all the sports. During the olympics we walked into a friends house and the volleyball was on - USA against Italy match 5. INTENSE! Took so much self restraint to not watch it. So yes! SO Excited for just all of those fun things to come... BUT SO GRATEFUL to be able to be here in England right now. I love this gospel and I love my Savior and am just really grateful for be able to give him this time as a small thanks for everything he has done for me!
I LOVE YOU!!!!