This week has been so much better! i feel like I am finally getting a little bit more adjusted to missionary life! The first week was so hard! I know it is silly of me, but going out I really thought that adjusting was going to be fine!! And boy was I wrong. It was so hard. But I had an incredible experience during personal study the other day I went to the BD to look for some term I was studdying and came across the atonement of the Savior. I decided (obviously prompted by the spirit looking back on it now) To turn to one of those scriptures! It took me to Luke 22: 24. it is the scripture where jesus is praying before the atonement that his cup would pass. But not his will but his fathers be done. Even though I have read it a million times this time that verse really stuck out to me! Our Savior did not want to go through with it. He was asking for the hardship that he was about to go through to go away. He had known that this would happen - had committed to that moment LONG before he was actually there - but once he actually got to that point he realized what was really being asked of him. I feel like once here was there he realized that it was more of a sacrifice that he had before expected, he realized how hard it was going to be, and he wasn't sure if he was ready or able to go through with it. As I read that it hit me so hard becuase that was EXACTLY how I was feeling. I knew LONG before I got to England that this is what I had committed to. I realized when i put my papers in that I was going to do this. I was aware of the sacrifices and things I would have to give up but it wasn't until I got to this point how much of a commitment it was. I was scared, full of doubt, and so overwhelmed with the idea of this being my life for the next 18 months. And homesickness was SO REAL! But as I read this verse I felt so at peace becuase I am not the only one who has felt this way! My Savior, who has all power, the literal SON OF GOD, felt exactly the same way. He was afraid, and unsure, and overwhlemed with it all but he said not his will but his fathers be done. And as I am here, sitting in some internet cafe in the middle of London I am in the same spot. It is not my will by my fathers that is done! I also loved the verse after that that said that after this prayer he was strengthened! I HAVE FELT THAT! So so much. And I am so grateful to know that just as the Savior was not expected to do it alone, neither am I! I realized very quickly that I could NOT do this alone. And I am so grateful to know that I do not have to nor am I expected to. My Savior and Heavenly Father and All of you back home are here with me every step of the way and I am SO grateful for that!
Ive realized just in these 2 weeks that I truly just need to forget myself and! i am not here for myself. Nothing about these 18 months are about megan gwilliam. I know I will become better myself but I am here to serve, testify, and follow JESUS CHRIST. To do my best to completely forget about myself and everything else except for him! For his love, example, and all that he has done for me personally and for all of the people I come into contact with everyday! I am SO GRATEFUL for this opportunity to serve him! For all that he has done for 18 months is the LEAST I can do for him! As overwhelming as 18 months may seem... I am grateful to be here and to get to spend all of my energy glorifying his name! :)
So that was the main blessing of this week! Just having the spirit testify of those things! Other fun things from this week have been exchanges! I went to another area.. I honestly don't even know where it was! haha but it was SO QUIET compared to peckham! Ive decided Im going to be sent to an island after this area and just go CRAZY because I won't have thousands of people walking by me every second!
Another thing is I get my ipad next week so e-mail me all the time! I can read e-mails whenever with the ipad I just cant respond until Monday so write whenever and I will be able to see it then!!! :) Super excited for it!
And dad I was going to tell you that the jump rope has come in handy! Im actually using it! Are you impressed!:) I also am doing pushups like a boss. Everyday I add 1 so by the end of my mission im pretty much going to be stronger than both you and ky combined! ;) pretty excited about it!!
Mom will you tell grandma how much I appreciate her letter! IT MADE MY DAY!!!! Im running out of time so I wont be able to send her a proper e-mail but tell her that I love her so much and am so grateful and will e-mail her back FIRST THING next week! Also tell her thank you for the dressed and skirts she helped fix! I get compliments all the time and just tell them its becuase I have the greatest grandma ever who is just the best! So pass that on for me please!
Thank you for all of your e-mails! I LOVE getting the updates from home!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! Have the BEST time at lake powell! Oh it will be so fun! Think of me here just standing in the rain as you are soaking up the sun! ;)
I told kyle too but i'm pretty sure one of our investigators is Lebron James. He looks JUST LIKE HIM! Oh bron bron.... gotta love him! All i'll have him baptized along with all of cleveland pretty soon! ;)
I LOVE YOU BOTH!!!! Have the very best week! Thank you for sending the camera and the converter sounds GREAT! Thank you so much!
Im SO GRAATEFUL And feel so blessed to be your daughter. Thank you for always setting an amazing example for me and teaching me the truths I share everyday ALL while growing up!! I am SO SO blessed!!
Love you!
Sister Megs
Oh and tell linds she's in trouble for not e-mailing me! But I still love her! :) I expect one next week or she is in trouble!!
I LOVE YOU!!! AND KEEPING YOU ALL IN MY PRAYERS!!!
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